Letter to Connor

This is a real letter

Dear Connor,

SOME INFORMATION ABOUT EARTH

(A Passing Traveller's Guide)

Thank you for visiting our planet. We are sorry that you were unable to stay longer, but we know there are much better, brighter and more enjoyable places for you to see and we look forward to joining you some time. But, for now, our paths have to part. In the meantime, if I can, let me tell you a little about the place where we have to stay before catching up with you.

1. Jokes. Jokes are our way of coping with Earth. Some jokes are quite funny while others aren’t so good. Sometimes they have to be very good indeed, because being on Earth can be not much fun at all. Earth can be nasty, and this is our way of getting our own back, by making jokes about it.

2. Laughter. A lot of the laughter occurs just out of nowhere, like grass or an irritating itch between the toes. And then some the laughter comes from the jokes I mentioned before. If it wasn’t for the laughter, we’d just have to cry all the time.

3. Friends. Friends are great to share jokes and laughter with. We also share crying with friends. We were looking forward to sharing things with you as our friend, but we know you had more important things to do elsewhere. That doesn’t matter too much because we’ll still be friends anyway, so there’s nothing to worry about.

4. Time. Time is strange because it goes on forever, yet there never seems to be enough of it. Except when you’re waiting to see a friend. That’s one of the times we need the jokes and stuff, just to pass the time.

5. Pain. You won’t need to know anything about pain. It’s something only we have to put up with.

6. Loss. Sometimes we lose things and we cry, or we say, "where on Earth did I put it?" but then we just have to laugh because nothing’s every really lost, it’s just moved away from us for a short while.


So that’s Earth. Not very exciting really. OK for a visit but not a place you’d want to stay forever. I bet you’ve found somewhere better already.



Please wait for us and get things ready.